315/ September 8, 2011

Dear friend / relative / relatively close friend / former love,

I acknowledge that I have changed in ways beyond mannerisms and measurable gaits. Each time someone tells me “you’re different now” I want to snap back with “when was I the same?”

Of course I’ve changed. I got my heart run over by a speeding bullet train. For time with family, now I have only about less than a day. I also gave up a headstart on an academic career so I could rent out an apartment. Of course I’ve changed. Work demands me to multiply myself in ten. And then ten again. And oh, I lost a friend. Who dares stay undisturbed and undisplaced?

Know that I am still mesmerized by the beauty in small things. But I have also learned how to appreciate the utter lack of it. People say that as you grow older you take idealism to the side of the road like it was an old, spotty couch to make room for spanking new cynicism. I don’t think I let go of the ideal as much as I only changed what I believe the ideal is. See, see, there’s the difference. I’ll sit on the spotty couch of idealism for the rest of my life. Just stop asking me why I’m different, and start seeing how I’ve willfully, measurably stayed the same.

Posted 8 months ago with 11 notes

1. mendoukusagarikoakuma reblogged this from wordswidenight
2. lyricslitterthekeys liked this
3. losworld reblogged this from wordswidenight
4. lemoustachey liked this
5. laregina liked this
6. trxinaudible liked this
7. dandelionflight liked this
8. boozeandmischief liked this
9. awarewolves liked this
10. reenactthatact liked this
11. wordswidenight posted this