300/ August 8, 2011 - The Poetry Room
FRONT: STAIRS TO CITY LIGHTS BOOKSTORE’S POETRY ROOM— (in my handwriting) where nobody cared that the person next to him called his underclass dirty laundry poe, wet, tree.
Dear lover— lover of watermelon,
These are pauses of fifteen-day intervals; imagine the thoughtspace given between each postcard. No, I did not wait for your response, the conversation is not up to us, it is taking place on its own. At this moment, cruel California air sends its regards.
(I’ve always wondered why different pens resulted in different handwriting. Think that I am writing to you now as a different love, a semi-faceless priceless lover. Tiny hands are meant for tiny words.)
[…] Have you ever listened to the floor? Beneath the boards, muffled stories and footsteps from forgotten trails. I am writing this with my ear pressed to the carpet. It tickles. […] I’m not thinking of anything, I’m writing from a vast, vacuous space; I am floating into nothing. Perhaps nothingness is my drug. I envy your m, your v, your hailers of hallucinations because they all seem less potent.
[…] Do you agree that these scratched out words add character to the letter? Do you try to unravel what I unwrote?
[…] I fall into these lapses everyday. I am afraid. I have no one to give this voicelessness to, no one meant to not listen. When you get this, it will not make sense. I am inept when it comes to handling the space between you and me. How long is a month, how very long indeed. […] It is a particularly sad night and I want to talk without talking. I want you to hold me, take me to a cemetery. I picture your grave of stars. You are the only person I want to lay with in a cemetery.
[…] Please take care of yourself for I am counting on being with you still. You are my tortured wartime love. My Sid and Nancy, John and Yoko, Bonnie and Clyde love story for the psychopaths. We are living history. […] People wear rings to remind them of promises to themselves. You are a ring I wear around my body like an embrace.
I am the rain in the morning, panda lady,
C. (August 15, 2009)
